


Waffles vs. Pancakes

by courtofspades



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, Texting, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtofspades/pseuds/courtofspades
Summary: Oikawa starts a fight with a stranger about breakfast food that becomes something more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> @starcaged on tumblr
> 
> kuroo and oikawa are both ridiculous  
> 

(8:46 pm)

**Waffles or pancakes**

 

okay?? waffles

 

**ur on a team w someone for 5 years and u think u know them ..**

 

(8:57 pm)

**but the whole time you’ve been concealing ur traitorous heart..**

**waffles….**

**w a f f l e s**

**…**

**blasphemy**

**i’m disappointed in u**

 

(9:01 pm)

okay first of all i wasn’t about to get into this right now but Who ARE You?

obviously waffles are superior

evidence #1: when the butter melts into the little squares and you get magnificent golden pools of heaven

can your limp, soggy dough circles do that?

hell no they can’t

evidence #2: crispiness, when you toast a waffle long enough the edges get nice and brown and add that delightful crunchy texture to your meal

since pancakes are merely shapeless blobs, this is not possible for them

i’m sorry you’re so deep in denial

i don’t make the rules

 

**W T F**

**pancakes are FLUFFY and DELIGHTFUL and most important of all, they are STACKABLE**

**i rest my case**

**also those nice drips of syrup down the sides and u can add stuff like chocolate chips**

**chocoLATE CHIPS YOU HEATHEN**

 

you’re the heathen if you like getting your face and hands all sticky as you cram your face with bland limp breakfast foods

 

(9:15 pm)

**i only cram my face with tasteful & firm things thx ;)**

 

disgusting

 

**NOT AS DISGUSTING AS WAFFLES!!!!!?!!!!**

 

(10:15 pm)

**Pancakes are iconic jsyk..**

**They’ve become a literal art form..**

**[image enclosed]**

**No one makes waffle art that would just suck**

 

I literally can’t believe that they desecrated Yoda like this

 

**are u mocking my literalness?**

 

literally no i am not

 

**Being immortalized in delicious, soft, perfect flapjack form is an HONOR**

**Make me a waffle Yoda and then I’ll consider your argument..**

 

one day you will see the error of your ways my young Padawan

anyways i have to study chem cya stranger

 

**Since when do u study chem, ur a lit major lmao**

 

(11:25 pm)

**wait who is this**

**Makki?**

 

nope, Kuroo

so who is the mysterious and enigmatic pancake fanatic i’ve been texting?

 

**Well kuro chan u still owe me a waffle yoda js**

**Oikawa Tooru btw**

**hmu on insta** **☆ ~ (ゝ** ∀ **・)**

 

w o w

kids these days

no respect

do you always bug strangers to follow you on instagram?

 

(11:50 pm)

**Well it’s really ur loss if u choose to deny yourself the radiant beauty of my my face, kuro chan but its w/e**

**but srsly i’m trying to beat my kouhai’s follower count**

**Anyway “kids these days”**

**what r u? a grandpa? cmon kuro chan..**

**pls don’t beat me up w ur cane if u see me in the streets**

 

this is why you don’t give out your personal information to strangers

they might be cane-wielding creepy old men

also i’m not gonna look you up

 

**Whaaattt no!! I can’t let tobio chan win, he doesn’t even have to TRY and people flock to his dumb adorable face**

 

i bet you’re one of those people whose snapchat stories are full of selfies

…

HOWEVER if you choose to rescind your previous statements about superior breakfast foods i might be more interested in helping you out

..js

 

**How devious of you kuro chan..**

**But i’m not that cheap, you’ll have to try a little harder to win me over..**

 

I was expecting this. i knew that trying to win over a deranged pancake fanatic wouldn’t be easy.

 

**Are u sure ur not an old man Kuro chan? u talk like a super mislead Bond villain..**

**or just a nerd..**

 

(12:09 am)

Nah i’m 19

Chem major, thus the studying

anyway i have two exams tomorrow so gn

 

**Ooh so you’re a mad scientist then!! So i was right, ur a supervillain and a nerd. Have u ever blown anything up?**

**Wait don’t answer tht, sleep tight 4 ur exams**

  


(4:05 pm)

**So Kuro chan..**

**what’s ur super villain name**

**i promise, scout’s honor i won’t tell the press**

 

that’s a tough one

hmm

If i had to pick… Black Cat probably

 

**how intriguing,  any reason why particularly?**

 

because cats are awesome? and black cats are considered bad luck?

 

**ah clever!**

**i mean my friend’s cat tried to suffocate him in his sleep once so that’s pretty sinister..**

 

my kitten tried to eat my leg once so i can sympathize

she also murdered my plant

 

**U have a kitten??**

 

Yes! My friend named her Rin and she loves chewing on my textbooks.

 

**Ohh yeah ab that.. How did ur exams go?**

 

The bonus question was:

Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?

 

**What does that mean?**

 

because you are Be Au Ti full

i think the professor was trying to be motivational

 

**Kuro chan i think this is ur greatest weapon.. terrible pick up lines..**

 

i’d be careful if I were you Oikawa, know why?

 

**What have i done..**

 

because I got my ion you

 

**The Absolute Worst**

**ur such a nerd**

**…**

**Are u from outer space?**

 

no

 

**Because ur ass is out of this world..**

 

you better fucking believe it is ;)

Also: 6/10, a classic but you could improve on originality

 

**Stop trying 2 seduce me kuro chan it won’t work. Ik u haven’t followed me yet.**

 

Ya ya whatever

anyway, what do you study?

 

**Guess!!**

 

Um i have no idea? You study..

Instagram thirst? Breakfast politics? Arguing with strangers?

 

**How creative, but no..**

**Astronomy**

 

Oh so can you tell me my horoscope?

 

**…**

 

i’m a Scorpio

 

**ughhhhhh ffs that’s astroLOGY**

**ur a nerd too kuro chan, u should respect ur fellow sciences**

 

ik ik I’m just messing with you

 

**why..**

**have u forsaken me..**

**of course a scorpio would b like this**

 

what’s that supposed to mean?

 

(4:45 pm)

**nothing :***

**Godzilla vs aliens?**

 

Aliens, obviously.

 

**oh thank god..**

**kuro chan are u a believer**

 

Are you asking as a government spy trying to hunt down people who know too much?

Or as a friendly extraterrestrial lifeform trying to make contact with humans?

 

**i belong among the stars kuro chan it’s true…**

**i AM a star**

**i should have been born an alien**

 

Who knew aliens were so obsessed with breakfast and selfies.

 

**Well i guess it’s my duty to share my otherworldly beauty**

 

I’m not buying it

I think this is all part of your scheme to brainwash everyone into helping you take over the world

 

**I’m shocked, how could you think so little of me**

 

Well you did just get into a fight with a stranger about pancakes

 

**Kuro chan are u ever going to let that go?**

 

Hmmmm let me think…

nah

not until you realize the errors of your ways at least

 

**Well I can tell u now that that’s never going to happen**

**You are in the wrong here Kuro chan and I think that it’s time for you to stop running from the truth**

 

clearly we are never going to agree on this

 

**Clearly…**

 

not opaquely

 

**Kuro chan.. (￣ヘ￣)**

 

ok ok but really i have to ask

who did you think you were texting originally

..and dare i ask why?

 

**I was texting my friend Makki**

**He was supposed 2 b the tiebreaker in an argument I was having with my other friend,,**

**I think he just disagrees with me out of habit tbh**

**ANYWAY thank u for reminding me that I totally forgot to ask Makki after texting u**

**I know he’ll back me up on this**

 

wild

 

**IK, I mean, I knew it was gonna b godzilla**

**he has a godzilla phone case ffs**

**But now he’s all like “peanut butter is better with chocolate than mint”**

**“waffles r better than pancakes”**

**?? and I just can’t stand for that u know**

 

wow

oh hey Rin just climbed onto my face and is demanding food sorry i gtg

 

(6:15 pm)

**Don’t apologize!! It’s important for growing kittens to get proper nutrition (♡ﾟ▽ﾟ♡)**

**Good 4 u, bein a responsible cat parent n all**

 

(8:07 pm)

i try but she’s a handful

i told you about the plant right?

also there was the attempted murder of my favorite mug but i caught it in time

 

**Fast reflexes!!**

 

ya

i do play volleyball so i guess that gives me an edge

 

**WHAAAATTTTT!!??**

**No wayyy**

**Me too!**

**.. or well, i used to**

 

No kidding!!!

what position?

 

**How forward of you**

**ヽ(¯ロ¯" ヽ)**

**I’m sorry**

**It’s a bad habit from texting freaking Makki all of the time**

 

…

… …

where oh where did the sweet and demure oikawa-san go?

 

**i’m so embarrassed rn kuro chan don’t mock me**

**Years off my life**

**I don’t feel like I’m just texting some random w u tho so take some responsibility**

**Luring me into a false sense of security**

**jkhdjfs I’ll stop bye**

 

i know what will make you feel better!!

[picture]

rin has no concept of shame and is incapable of judgement, so she will support you in this time of need

look at her tiny feet, so small and soft yet capable of such great destruction

 

**Wow**

**Kuro chan u were right that cheered me up right away!**

**She is truly an inspiration, so adorable yet fearsome ^^**

 

whenever i get stressed i think,

what would rin do?

although the answer is usually either sulk or scratch

probably why i have so many problems, now that i think about it..

 

**Omg**

 

(10:34 am)

hey

where is everyone’s favorite incredibly corny megalomaniacal alien overlord nerd

you never told me what position ;) you played in volleyball

 

**Omg**

**Kuro chan I’m flattered,, mostly..**

**I was a setter, and I was team captain in 3rd yr**

 

the fact that you were mostly flattered by that

but also wow! the coincidences keep piling up

i was team captain too, but a middle blocker

 

**Everyone’s favorite, incredible, alien, overlord, nerd**

**You’ve captured my character so well**

 

well if you look back my exact words were ‘incredibly corny megalomaniac’

but see what you want to see

 

**u don’t have to hide your true feelings, your words will always warm my heart <3**

**lol i can’t believe u were a team captain too! where did u go to high school?**

 

tokyo! what about you?

 

**Ahh, so we wouldn’t have met then**

**My school was in Miyagi**

**We didn’t make it to nationals**

 

actually i forgot until now but you mentioned a kouhai

named tobio chan?

bc i knew a tobio from miyagi

 

**Ugh don’t get me started**

**Kageyama Tobio, he ended up at Karasuno**

**Dark hair, annoying but cute face?**

 

yeah!!! that’s the one, i know exactly who you’re talking about

 

**Talking about him gives me migraines..**

 

okay well

oh hang on a sec i have some cupcakes in the oven that need to come out!

 

**Cupcakes??**

 

(11:46 am)

they’re honey cinnamon

i was going for something that would be good with apple pie

i’m practicing for a birthday

 

**I’m intrigued, ur a baker too?**

**That sounds delicious tho!**

 

disclaimer: i am a man of many skills

and many secrets ;)

 

**(๑`^´๑)**

**Kuro chan is the winky face the only emoji u know?**

 

(Wㅅㅇ)ฅ

don’t underestimate me

**Author's Note:**

> (i tried to make pixel art of kuroo's cupcakes lol help me)
> 
> so i quadruple message people all of the time sorry if the text blocks are a little weird in places  
> I adore oikuro and needed a text fic so here I am! Talk to me @starcaged on tumblr (please lol) ☆
> 
> feel free to comment on the great debate: waffles vs pancakes (i had to ask my mom for the good points of waffles since i'm pretty neutral)
> 
> If I missed any errors let me know!
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I am a sad and stressed out college student and my only regularly scheduled activity is crying  
> (ノωヽ)


End file.
